Words of Wisdom
It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal the neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.
Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
It is far more impressive when others discover your good qualities without your help.
If you tell the truth you don't have to remember anything.
If you lend someone $20 and never see him again; it was probably worth it.
If you haven't much education you must use your brain.
Never mess up an apology with an excuse.
Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
Taxation with representation isn't so hot, either!
Wisdom comes from good judgment and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.
The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.
A closed mouth gathers no foot.
Duct tape is like the Force, it has a light side and a dark side and it holds the universe together.
I didn't say it was your fault. I said I was going to blame you.
Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.
Never miss a good chance to shut up.
Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your mouth is moving.
Diplomacy is the art of saying "good doggie" while looking for a bigger stick.
Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you do criticize him, you're a mile away and you have his shoes.