
Benjamin Watson
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Sometimes
when I’m in the studio, I forget
how many people are watching. Several months ago, I was on ESPN
analyzing the SEC when one of the other analysts made a comment
about my wife, Kirsten. You can Google it if you want specifics, but
it created a conflict on live television. When we had an
opportunity, we talked about what happened. He apologized, and we
were ready to move on. I had no idea it would go viral. Kirsten
wasn’t watching but immediately started to get notifications.
The whole incident was a reminder that conflict is inevitable.
Whether in public, at work, or at home, someone will do or say
something that will cause conflict — which is why we need to sharpen
our conflict resolution skills. While most of us dislike it,
conflict can actually help us in a number of ways. Rather than
avoiding it, we should embrace it.
Here
are 5 reasons to be thankful for conflict.
1. It reminds us there are consequences for
our words and actions.
Conflict is a great reminder that our
words and actions have an impact. They easily can cause pain
and disconnection. If nobody confronts us when we wrong
someone, we continue to be reckless with people’s hearts and
feelings. Conflict propels us to think more deeply before we
act.
2. It teaches us how to live in peace with
others.
The key to a great life is having healthy
relationships, which is why conflict resolution skills are
so important. Conflict shows us when we overstep, when we
are selfish, and when we lack empathy. Conflict confronts
our mistakes and attitudes that need to change. As we work
on them and grow in maturity, it gives us a greater ability
to live in peace with one another.
3. It teaches us how to resolve relational
problems.
Relationships not only make life full, but
they also help us grow. This is especially true of deeper
and long-lasting friendships. When we learn to handle
conflict well, it helps us grow closer to people. Conflict
teaches us how to work through relational problems, making
those long-standing friendships possible.
4. It teaches us how to admit our wrongs
and apologize.
We can’t ignore a wrong. We have to deal
with it, especially when we are the ones who have done it.
Taking responsibility for our errors sharpens us. It molds
us into people who have integrity and character.
5. It’s an opportunity to be an example to
our kids.
Since conflict is all around us, when we
have it, it’s a great opportunity to show our kids how to
navigate it. Much of the world handles conflict with
aggression, defensiveness, and vindictiveness. In our house,
two things we focus on quite a bit are forgiveness and
reconciliation. Forgiveness doesn’t absolve guilt or free us
from consequences, but it does give us freedom and ability
to heal. We can talk about it with our kids as much as
possible, but nothing drives the point home better than
showing it to them.
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